28th January 2016
What's Stopping You?
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
Thomas A. Edison
Most of us make one or more New Year’s resolutions to become a better, slimmer, healthier, more successful, more polite, more understanding, etc. person. However, statistics say that we have broken more than 90 percent of all resolutions we made already by February.
Did you stick with your New Year’s resolutions so far?
New Year’s resolutions are of course nothing else but goals made at a certain point in time. Very often it seems quite difficult for many of us to reach our goals for a variety of reasons.
So, what’s stopping you?
Following are three stumbling blocks that can make achieving your goals hard, and I will show you ways how you can turn them into stepping stones in order to achieve our targets.
1. Getting stuck in the past
Very often we get stuck in the past and therefore we cannot move forward. Past experiences which we perceived as hurtful, shameful, failure, etc. often are very present in our mind. We are afraid they might repeat themselves.
“Don't Look Back, That's Not Where You're Going.”
Musical album by Inga Copeland
We all know kids, right? Maybe not your own, but from relatives, friends and acquaintances. Surely you have observed some of them and realised that when they start walking or riding a bike they tend to look back and not into the direction they go. Their parents repeatedly have to remind them “watch where you are going”, “look ahead not back”, etc. This is exactly what we have to tell ourselves again and again when we want to reach our goals.
Every day we have to make hundreds of decisions. Some are easy and some are not. Life circumstances, our experiences, our knowledge, our physical and psychological constitution and much more let us make decisions of which we consider right at that very moment in time. Sometimes they come out right and at other times we think we made a mistake.
How do we transform this stumbling block into a stepping stone?
Let go of this mistake and failure thinking. Accept that this is life as it is. At any given moment you are in control and in charge of your life, not the
past. Ask yourself the right questions, e.g.:
- What can I learn from the past?
- Where am I now, at this very moment?
- Where do I want to go (what is my goal)?
- What are the steps I need to take to get there?
And then, take a leap of faith and make the first step.
2. Lack of self-confidence
We are not good enough, we lack that certain something, we are not smart enough, we are too old, we don’t deserve it, we couldn’t possibly succeed, we’re never going to make it, etc.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.” Marianne Williamson
Turning stumbling block No. 2 into a stepping stone:
Don’t wait any longer, jump right in, NOW. Go and get started; and while you are on your way to your goal you can always adjust appropriately and improve your strategy. Let your light shine and while doing so you allow and encourage others to do so as well.
It is your birthright to get the best and to enjoy life – to be happy. So go for it.
3. Perfectionism
We cannot start, yet, because our project still needs improvement. There are still a thousand things to do before we even can think about starting. We still need to accumulate more knowledge and further educate ourselves. We need more proof that we are capable of doing things (certificates, references, experience), etc.
Perfectionism is the best way to paralyse and therewith to boycott yourself and your undertakings.
Abracadabra … stepping stone No. 3:
Imagine you are at the age of 85, looking back on your life. Would you like to think you have always tried to make everything perfect and hence never actually done anything? Or would you rather think of yourself as a person who has tried everything and always made the best out of it?
Nothing is really perfect in this world and everything on our planet – including nature – is in a constant process of change – and how perfect is nature actually?
Ask yourself; and of course answer truly ;-)
- Can anything ever be perfect without any need to adapt and refine permanently?
- What could possibly be so important in the world for the need of being perfect?
Now, give others a chance to profit from what you have to offer them; allow them to use your services and your expertise for their own good.
Just be happy with what you can do now and start doing it and still always maintain your desires to further educate and improve while moving ahead.
Of course there are many more stumbling stones. Now go and find out what’s stopping you and how you can use your stumbling blocks as stepping stones. Start connecting with your inner self again, get back to your childhood dreams, find out what it is that you really want in your life, and discover your life’s purpose. Don’t give up on yourself and be kind to yourself. Trust your inner wisdom and start doing what it is that you want to do. Do this with all your heart, your passion and your enthusiasm.
We are all here to learn from each other. Hence, it would be great if you wanted to share your stumbling blocks with us here under “comments”; and maybe you can also tell us how you are going to transform them into stepping stones. You don’t know how? Maybe we can help you.
Following is a short video to inspire you to follow and achieve your dreams.
Always remember: It’s never too late, NOW is your time to start.
I wish you loads of success in doing so.
Enjoy life and be well,
Sibylle
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Write a comment
Ana (Tuesday, 02 February 2016 01:53)
Hi Sibylle! Thank you for the post, I love hearing your words of wisdom! My stumbling block is that, for personal projects, I put them off because they are too daunting or simply too boring. Who in their 20s, 30s or 40s - (and yes, the last one is me!) - for example, unless they're über organised, are into finance or are particularly good with their money, would sort out all their pension stuff?! One trick I learned is to do it with a friend. Each of you 'fesses up what they hugely need to tackle and the other can help them do it! You can do it at each other's houses - you go to theirs then they go to yours or vice versa, and you can help each other tackle the projects! Often, the most difficult part is getting started, then you can give each other monthly updates and by that point, the momentum takes care of itself. Hope it helps someone out there! Have a great Feb!
Sibylle (Thursday, 04 February 2016 14:59)
Dear Ana,
Thank you very much for your valuable addition. Yes, you are absolutely right, the start is very often the most difficult part of our projects. It’s a great idea to ask your friends for help and to use them as your sounding board. At the same time you allow them to hold you accountable. Doing all this the possibility that you will get your tasks done is pretty good.
Good luck with all your endeavours and be well,
Sibylle